I don’t get spam like other people get spam

I swear that shady persons unknown have been listening in on the conversations I have with Vic, specifically those concerning world domination. How else can you explain the spam I received today advertising the 3rd Annual Military Electronics Show?

For these two days at the Baltimore Convention Center, you will be able to see, test and compare the mil-spec components, systems, products and software you need. Focused purely on military electronics design strategies, this event offers the sessions, speakers and suppliers that separate the unique needs of the military environment from the civilian world or commercial-off-the-shelf design.

Come to think of it, if the black helicopters were listening in on our plans, they would know that Vic and I prefer a non-military solution to global conquest. Things get messy and expensive when you start involving heavy machinery. No, we prefer the silent route of slowly co-opting already existing institutions like news conglomerates and using the proceeds to covertly amass power within developing nations. (Or was it the other way around?) The incentives in my conference invitation are quite tempting, however:

And as our special guest, you will gain free access to the show floor as well as receive 25% off the conference program!

I should mention that my main email address receives maybe two or three pieces of spam per month, tops, and that seventy-five percent of that spam originates from local businesses. This makes this invitation all the more suspicious.

Foolish illuminati! Your plans to entice me with cheap access to military hardware are sure to fail! You are doomed!

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